Bilingual life and more

Holiday time to me is family time. I grew up enjoying our advent Sundays together with songs, cookies and just celebrating the holidays together. It still has the same feel to me. We enjoy spending time together as a family. We get a tree, put it up and decorate it. We make a beautiful gingerbread house together and light a new candle on every Sunday until Christmas is here. We read stories and sing songs, and all that brings me to dearly miss my family back in Germany, at this time especially.

There has been the thought in my head to want to be in Germany sometime for a holiday, which only could be Christmas, because there is enough time off to make it worth it. Then again, being there for that holiday is also a here and there and everywhere, because the family is so split apart and not in a friendly sort of way.

I get to go “home” during the summer and most years that is the only way to see anybody of family or friends. We skipped one year, because it is just so expensive, but we paid for it. I missed everybody way too much, and Anna and Emily kept asking when we were going to see everybody again. I have three brothers. My older one, I doubt will ever make it here, and my two younger ones are still in school and just don’t have the funds. My parents make it maybe every 2 – 3 years. Both are still working and either cannot get time off when it would make sense to come here, or have other plans. I know it is far to go and we try to do special things here, but sometimes it is also just the hanging out and being together that counts. Well, as said, we get that every few years.

Sometimes, it would be very liberating, nice, to make other plans, travel and see other places, especially there are so many places here in the US and around the US to visit that we have not seen yet and that Anna and Emily have not experienced yet. But, if we are shelling out the money for the tickets to Germany and the stay there, we just plainly can’t afford to do anything else. But if we don’t go, we won’t see most people, ever. My grandmother will not get over here anymore and most family and friends over there will not. So, I can only count on seeing my family and friends by going there.

This all, sometimes just gets to me, especially around the holidays when I especially want to see my family. I have some international friends from different places around the world, who get visited. It just makes you wonder …

Enough of feeling sorry for myself. It just has to come out every now and then. I look forward to the End of February when I go over for my mom’s 60th birthday celebration. No plans are made for the summer as of yet.